How to Love (Mindful Essentials): 3 (Mindfulness Essentials)

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In addition, don't take the other person for granted or make assumptions about what they may need. It is only through open communication that, Hahn believes, love lives. Thich Nhat Hanh, who originated Engaged Buddhism, in an interview with John Malkin. Peace in Every Step

Today, mindfulness is a ubiquitous term of modern life, but without Hanh’s influence western mindfulness would not, he believes, be what it is today. The founding of the Engaged Buddhism movement was his response to the Vietnam War. Nhat Hanh’s mission was to engage with suffering caused by war and injustice and to create a new strain of Buddhism that could save his country. In the formative years of the Engaged Buddhism movement, Nhat Hanh met Cao Ngoc Phuong, who would later become Sister Chang Kong. She hoped to arise activism for the poor in the Buddhist community, working closely with Nhat Hanh to do so. She remains his closest disciple and collaborator to this day. The more you understand, the more you love; the more you love, the more you understand. They are two sides of one reality. The mind of love and the mind of understanding are the same. In the practice of compassionate listening, you listen with only one purpose: to give the other person a chance to speak out and suffer less.

Thich Nhat Hanh quotes

He teaches all love begins with self love and walks hand-in-hand with spiritual practice. Through deep listening and the establishment of intimacy, Hahn believes love heals through empathy and "karuna," a term that describes suffering with another and then doing what you can to end that suffering. Suryagupta, chair of the London Buddhist Centre, first encountered him at a retreat in England about 25 years ago. “He is definitely a giant of a man and I had the good fortune to be on retreat with him in my early days of exploring Buddhism,” she said. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person.

Understanding of oneself and others is the key that opens the door of love and acceptance of oneself and others.We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.

And yet because love is a learned “dynamic interaction,” we form our patterns of understanding — and misunderstanding — early in life, by osmosis and imitation rather than conscious creation. Echoing what Western developmental psychology knows about the role of “positivity resonance” in learning love, Nhat Hanh writes: When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That’s why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness. Hanh’s influence even reached the tech world. In 2013 he spoke at Google’s headquarters in Silicon Valley, telling workers: “We have the feeling that we are overwhelmed by information. We don’t need that much information.” Other people’s actions are the result of their own pain and not the result of any intention to hurt you. A wrong perception can be the cause of a lot of suffering. This is why, whenever we have a perception, we have to ask ourselves if our perception is right. To be there is the first step, and recognizing the presence of the other person is the second step. Because you are fully there, you recognize that the presence of your beloved is something very precious. You embrace your beloved with mindfulness, and he or she will bloom like a flower. To be loved means first of all to be recognized as existing.Anabel Temple, a member of Heart of London Sangha, part of Hanh’s monastery network, first came across his teachings in his book Being Peace 30 years ago. She travelled with him in China and Vietnam in 2005, when he returned after four decades of exile, and has been to his Plum Village monastery in France many times. Scrolling through her phone, she shows dozens of photos of Hanh – also known as “Thay”, or teacher – travelling. Whenever we see or hear something, our attention can be appropriate or inappropriate. With mindfulness we can recognize which it is and release inappropriate attention and nurture appropriate attention. Appropriate mental attention, yoniso manaskara in Sanskrit, brings us happiness, peace, clarity, and love. Inappropriate attention, ayoniso manaskara, fills our mind with sorrow, anger, and prejudice. Mindfulness helps us practice appropriate attention and water the seeds of peace, joy, and liberation in us. Rooted, 2012. Gouache on watercolor paper 30″ x 23″.