You know the father of fantasy? Tolkien? You know how he created a rich world with several unique complex and beautiful languages? Yeah, that was great… Now, do you remember how Tolkien forced you to learn Sindarin before you could read the Fellowship of the Ring? No, I don’t remember that bit either because it would have been really boring.
Apparently, L.C. Perry did not get the memo. Not that there’s a new language or in fact any new ideas here, just words for things we already have like grass, buses, metal, animals etc. have been swapped out with nonsense words like ‘busshier’ and ‘lemurla’, all introduced by the author using the nonsense word and then putting the real one in brackets next to it – cause world building. Conversely, words that do exist for us, like Foreigner, mean something completely different. So, unless you’re willing to do your twaddle homework, good luck understanding what the heck is going on.
This is not helped by the fact the writing that is about as concise and eloquent as Grandpa Simpson, full of grammatical errors, tense jumps and just going in and around on itself to the point where conversations get repeated multiple times and many don’t seem to have a point at all. The only bit that is really clear is the first five pages, which are not story but simply the author telling you the set up of the world – cause world building.
To cap it all off there are several bad (yet admittedly hilarious) incidents where the author has fallen into the thesaurus trap. Similar to the Friends episode, if you remember it, where Joey writes a letter and, to make himself sound smarter, uses a thesaurus on every word, turning the sentence ‘they are warm, nice people with big hearts’ into ‘they are humid, prepossessing homo sapiens with full sized aortic pumps’. It’s like that, to name a few; log does not equal twig, ensue does not equal continue and peaceful passion does not exist.
Sorry, I don’t mean to rag on the writing so much, but it’s been a long time since I’ve read something so technically inept. I’ll move onto the content.
Regular readers of my reviews will know I try to find good in everything and this is where I found it, while the characters themselves are badly written there was a lot of time given to the main character and her friend, attempting to develop their relationship and define them as two separate people. The quality of writing severely hinders the execution, but I can see it being attempted and I appreciate the friend character is distinct and, at least, not being relegated to the cheering section like so many best friends.
That’s where my praise ends.
As mentioned above the characters are nothing you don’t want to move on from as fast as possible. The plot as absolute bat crap on a sandwich, with a lot of the reasons for things being ‘because the author says so’, apparently the world’s in danger (from the vaguest threat in all of literature)and this random useless teenager has to fix it for a reason… her Dad was doing it you see, apparently, heroism is hereditary.
I wouldn’t worry too much about the world ending though; from what I can gather (as I’ve mentioned the writing is so rambling it’s very difficult to understand) the bad guys are the most inept bunch of idiots ever. They manage to track down the main characters eldest brother (because her brothers have some other vague power, don’t ask) yet, despite eldest brother living in the same house as the other two brothers, they somehow didn’t track down the younger two.
Yeah, I don’t think the world needs saving, if I’m honest, bad guys this useless will probably end up killing themselves by accident.
You can also expect to get a lecture from Floresha, about the dangers of destroying the world and the vulgarity of eating animals. Although I would be interested to hear how the world still has buses, metal walls and schnitzel without destroying anything or any meat based products. Just another nail in the coffin that is the messy world of this book.
And if that wasn’t enough for you the book is full of pigeon holing racists, main character included, with the rivalry between the tribes being Gryffindor/Slytherin levels of inexplicable dislike. Yeah, the author’s given the tribes different fancy names so it’s not violent culture vs. vegan culture, but that doesn’t make it not racism. Maybe in their world, it’s called ‘Laysism’ though, so what do I know?
Honestly, this book reads like an unedited attempt at NaNoWrMo (National Novel Writing Month), just an amateur work written at speed and then thrown onto amazon without a second glance; there are grammar mistakes everywhere, multiple large continuity errors and just a general directionlessness to so much of it I do not believe for one second the author thought it was necessary to edit her work.
You couldn’t pay me to finish this book, I’d burn it if it wasn’t on my kindle.